Chapter Four

Ellie had gotten dressed early this morning and then had Jimmy dressed when Joan and Adam had picked him up earlier before she had woken Jon up. She didn’t want Jimmy to hear any fighting just in case he gave her any crap about going to this specialist she had found. It had been about a month and a half to get this appointment but with their Primary Care doctor he had made some calls for her after he had seen Jon and his throat and his attitude. He knew this wasn’t the Jon he knew and that there was something that Jon wasn’t telling him so he knew this specialist should be able to get the answers that they needed. They hoped.

She went upstairs to see if she could get him up and showered before they had to leave. He knew they had this appointment but wasn’t thrilled about it. Walking in their bedroom it was dark and dingy and stank. Boy she knew if she was going to come back in here it was going to take a lot of work to get it back to normal. She walked over to the bed and she saw that he was sound asleep. He never set the alarm like she asked him to do. She took a deep breath and counted to ten and shook him as hard as she could and Yelling his name.

“JON! JON! GET THE HELL UP!” He finally started to move as he looked up at her and growled. He just put his head back into the pillow. “Oh no you don’t pal we have an appointment remember? So get that pretty little ass of yours up and into that shower or I’m calling your parents to come over here and do it for me.” She told him happily.

He then turned over naked as a jay bird and replied, “You wouldn’t dare?”

“Watch me. I’ll tell them everything and your Mom will be over here in a shot. I’ll deal with her being pissed off with me later for not telling her until now but if it will get you up and to the doctors right now it will be worth it.” She told him with her hands on her hips.

“I thought I went to Dr. Manners over a month ago and he said that the steroids wrecked my voice box and now it has to heal.” He asked her smugly.

“Oh God you only heard what you wanted didn’t you. No he also wanted you to see this specialist that he set up for us which is for today and you know that because I reminded you for the past few days. So don’t start with me. You have twenty minutes to shower and ten to shave. I’ll be back up here in thirty to see how you’re doing. If you need me just use the intercom and I’ll be here before you know it.” She told him and left to go back downstairs.

He slowly got out of bed. He wasn’t in the mood for this. He knew what was wrong and didn’t think he needed a specialist to tell him that he fucked up. But maybe he could help with the bleeding. It did seem that it was getting worse and that his stomach was well he just didn’t feel like eating as he was constantly nausea now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~    

   Ellie was downstairs and made herself some tea waiting for Jon to get himself ready when the phone rang. When she picked it up it was her Mother-in-law.

“Oh Hi Carol what can I do for you?” she asked her nervously as she really didn’t need her over right now.

“Well Dear I was wondering if you weren’t doing anything or Jimmy if I could come over and maybe we could do something. John said since Jonny is having such a hard time having visitors that I should call first.”

‘Oh crap’ she said to herself. “Well Carol you know we would love to have you but I was just about to leave because Jimmy has a play date all day, could we maybe make it another day?” she asked her hopefully.

“Oh well of course Dear, um about Jon do you think he might like some company? Maybe?” she asked hopefully.

“Carol I would love to say yes but he just told me to get the hell out of the bedroom myself. I thought maybe we could talk before I left or at least tell him we were leaving but he didn’t care.” She lied to her.

“Well maybe another time, maybe when I come over to see the both of you I can try.” She told her.

“Maybe. You have a good day now and I’ll talk to you later.” She told her and hung up. She hated to lie to her but Jon didn’t want his parents to know yet and she wasn’t going to be the one to go behind his back. Just as she was about to sip her tea the phone rang again. “Oh for the love of God.” She said as she picked up the receiver, “Hello?”

“Well Hello to you too Darling? How’s the Boss man doing?” Richie asked her concerned.

Taken aback she replied, “Really Richie? I’ve been leaving you messages now for over a couple of months and you haven’t called me back at all. Why are you so concerned all of a sudden?” she snapped at him.

“Whoa Darling calm down will you? I talked to Mom and Dad and they said Jon wasn’t doing good. Said he was all moody and not treating you and Jimmy right is this true?” Richie wanted to know.

“Well why don’t you put my messages together and the ones you got from your parents and put two and two together and let me know what you think ok?” she told him angrily.

“Ellie I’m sorry for not getting back to you but I was out of the country I didn’t even tell my folks. I called them last night and they told me what was going on with you guys. Is he still being a dick?” he asked her again.

Ellie just took a deep breath and told him the short version of what was going on but how she was handling it. Richie wasn’t happy with what was going on and told her that he would get on the next plane to see if he could help. She told him that she doubts it but he could give it a try and would update him on what the doctor would tell them. Once she hung up it was time to see if her husband had done what he was told and for his sake she had hoped so.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jon was just finishing getting dressed, he knew if he didn’t he would catch hell for not doing what he was told and he just didn’t want to fight. He just didn’t have it in him right now as his throat was killing him. He was spitting up more blood than normal and he didn’t want to tell her or he wouldn’t hear the end of it. Now the only problem was his clothes weren’t quite fitting him properly. They were getting a lose fitting on him. It was bad enough people thought he was skinny at the end of the tour or even in the middle of it. God he would lose about five pounds a night as it was and there wasn’t much meat on him to begin with. At the beginning of the tour he weighed about one hundred and seventy pounds and now he weighed one hundred and forty five pounds Ellie could see his ribs because if the guys could see them then his wife could. He just didn’t know why she hasn’t said anything to him yet about them of course that could be a good thing. Finishing up he met Ellie in the kitchen as she seemed antsy waiting for him.

“Well your lucky I was just about to go up and see what was taking you so long.” She snapped at him.

Jon just looked at her not so happy. “Well it’s a good thing you didn’t or I would have changed my mind.” He told her giving her his stink eye.

Thinking to herself ‘Oh for crying out loud.’ She was getting so tired of him. Looking at him, “I’m driving so if you’re ready let’s just go.” She told him as she grabbed her keys and pocketbook.

It took them about forty-five minutes to get to Dr. Hathaway’s office and at least another thirty minutes to fill out paper work. She compared this to taking Jimmy to the pediatrician’s office. Maybe if Jon was a good boy they would give him a lollipop too. Actually Jimmy was more well behaved than his father was being. Finally the nurse came out and called us into Dr. Hathaway’s office. He wanted to talk to us before he examined Jon. He introduced himself and asked what the problem was.

The Dr.: “So Jon what is the problem here? It says throat and bleeding with depression?”

Jon: “I feel fine I’m just tired. I just got off a major concert tour and all I want to do is sleep. My wife here thinks there is something wrong with me. I think she is the one that needs help.”

Ellie wanted to scream as the Dr. looked at her then back at him.

Dr.: “Is that so? Well Mrs. Bongiovi why do you think your husband needs to be seen by me?”

Ellie: “Well he stays in bed all day and doesn’t get out at all. He’s moody and mean and oh doesn’t eat properly if at all. I try to get him to eat but if I push him he screams at me. There was this one time he took off and when I went into our bedroom looking for him I did notice that there on the pillow case was blood so I went into our bathroom and found tissues and old towels with blood on them.” She explained to the doctor and Jon just sat there staring at the floor knowing he was busted.

Dr.: “May I call you Ellie? Great…Has Jon lost any weight?” he asked knowing the answer.

Jon: “I’m right fucking here!” he said angrily.

Ellie: “We know Honey but are you going to tell Dr. Hathaway the truth because you didn’t answer him truthfully now did you? And yes he has quite a bit actually. About thirty or forty pounds I think.” She told the doctor as Jon was fuming.

“Dr.: “Thank You Ellie. Jon I can’t help you if you’re going to lie to me every step of the way here. I need to know a few things and I need you to be truthful to me or you can just walk out of here now. But you seem to have a great wife who loves you very much so why do you want to blow this? And from what I understand from my staff a career that is off the charts. So this is what’s going to happen. You want my help you will do it my way or you can leave right now. You’re choice. Otherwise we need to take some blood tests which I can see you can tell what am I going to find?” he asked him seriously.

Ellie: “Oh Dr. Jon doesn’t do drugs.” She told outright.

“Dr.: “I’m sure he doesn’t Ellie but one) I need to hear it from Jon. And two) you don’t know what goes on during the tour. So Jon how about it?” he asked waiting.

Jon went from looking at the floor to the doctor then to Ellie. He knew if they took his blood he really didn’t know what they would find. So he turned to Ellie almost shaking.

Jon: “Ellie I do want to get better and I’m sorry for what I’ve been putting you and Jimmy thru I really am. I really thought that I could kick this myself.” He told her with tears forming.

Staring at him in disbelief she asked him, “Jon were you taking drugs?”

“It depends on what you say is drugs and why I was taking these things.” He told her. Jon started telling her and Dr. Hathaway what had happened during the tour and what he would sometimes take with the guys and what Doc and the tour doctor suggested and had got the steroids and started to shoot them into his neck. They were working for quite a while until they weren’t and so they were doubling up to keep him going. He told them how he would pass out sometimes before, after and even on stage the last eight months of the tour seeing it was taking such a toll on him. The doctor listens intensely as Ellie sat there in shock because she knew nothing of this, knew nothing of this that was happening to her husband. She could see how visibly upset he was as he explained this to them so she was going to try very hard to keep her temper in check. But when they get home all bets are off.

“Jon didn’t that hurt?” she exclaimed horrified.

“Yeah it did but I had to take them because I had to sing. Too many people’s jobs were on the damn line.” He spit out finally but not realizing that he had.

Ellie stared at him finally knowing why he was in the mood he’s been in and why he took those damn steroids. “Well Jon now I get everything.” She told him sitting up straight in her chair.

But Jon wanted to sink down in his.

Dr.: “Jon I would like to run some test while you’re here. I have everything set up it shouldn’t take more than an hour and a half. Ellie you can wait in the waiting room we have plenty of reading material also there is a coffee shop right across from us if you want to get something while you wait.” He told her.

Ellie: “Can’t I go in with him?”

Dr.: “I would rather that you didn’t. I think I would accomplish more without you in there.”

The Doctor escorted both of them out of his office. He introduced Jon to his Nurse Audra and they went off to the exam rooms. Then he showed Ellie the waiting room again.

“Ellie he’ll be fine but I think I can accomplish more without you in with us only because he’ll open up to me more if you’re not there. I hope you understand.” He explained to her and not wanting to hurt her feelings. “He seems to want to hold back when your there.”

“No Dr. Hathaway I understand. It’s like he’s trying to protect me from something I just wish people would stop doing that.” As she mumbled the last part of the sentence.

“I’m sorry?” the doctor asked.

“Oh nothing of importance. And really it’s fine. I’ll go get myself a tea then come back and relax until he’s finished.” She told him.          

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~                                               

Ellie was sitting in the waiting room reading the third magazine (this one dated two years earlier) she’ll have to remember to bring a book next time, when a nurse came and walked over to her.

“Mrs. Bongiovi? Your husband is just finishing up so if you want to come with me I’ll take you back to the doctor’s office.” She said as she waved her on.

Once situated she didn’t have to wait long when Jon walked into the office with the doctor.

“Oh good Ellie you’re here. Well I do have some good news for the two of you.” he said as he rounded his desk to sit as Jon did the same. “Jon’s healthy pretty much all around once we get him to start eating again. The reason he’s not is the blood he’s spitting up is he’s swallowing a lot of it and it’s sitting in his stomach. And the reason why he’s bleeding is because of those damn shots. Now he told me he’s not taking them anymore. Ellie you haven’t seen him shooting up or any packages coming to the house have you?” he asked her concern.

“No why?” she asked him perplexed.

“Because I did see some new needle marks in his neck. So he’s very good at lying. He’s getting the steroids somehow but he won’t say. So we are going to either have to trust him and watch him like a hawk while they get out of his system or he stays here until they do. Your choice Jon,” The doctor told him.

Jon looked at him then at Ellie who was about to blow.

“Jon Francis! You tell the doctor right now where you are getting…Oh My God! He left the house not too long ago and when I asked him where he went he wouldn’t tell me.” Ellie told Dr. Hathaway angrily while giving Jon the stink eye.

Now Jon knew she blew.  

“Ok Can I stay at home if I promise I’ll be good.” He said to both of them remorsefully.

“Ellie I know you both have a child, you’re going to need help with him because he is going to get out of hand when he starts to detox’s and once that’s over with I can see what I can do to the voice box. He may need surgery.” He told them.

They both went wide eyed. “No freak’n way are you doing surgery on my voice Doc. I make my living this way!” Jon almost going livid on him.

“Well Jon you might not have a choice. My nurse is making Ellie a list of things that you can and cannot eat or drink and you have to follow it to the letter. And what I want you to drink constantly. We need to get your strength back up and your weight and you should be fine. If your immune system starts to fail you then we have a big problem and you don’t want that. I’ll send someone over in a week to see how he is doing and in two weeks I would like to see him. So you can make an appointment. But Ellie If I was you I would get help.” He advised her.

“Oh don’t worry I have the perfect person in mind.” she told him smiling.

Jon looking at her squealed out, “Not my Mother!”

Smiling at her husband, “No not your Mother.”

“Not your Mother!”

“No not my Mother either so don’t worry.  Thank You Dr. Hathaway and I will make sure he sticks to everything.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back at the house Jon had gone straight to the bedroom as she just shook her head. She made her phone call to see if he was going to keep his promise to help. He was and told her that he would get on the next plane. She knew Jon wasn’t going to be happy with this but she really didn’t care his health was more important to her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Present

The cookout was under way and the girls were preparing everything as Jon had Ellie situated out under one of the table umbrellas watching her family. He was trying his best to keep his composer at seeing his wife pretend that she wasn’t in pain for her family but he knew better.   

Jimmy walked up behind his dad and startled him. “Whoa Dad sorry you ok?” he asked as he laid his hand on his shoulder.

Laughing, “Yeah I’m fine what’s up?’ he asked Jimmy.

“Well you’re staring so intently at Mom is she getting worse?” he wanted to know.

“Mom no why?” Jon said trying to be sincere.

“Dad I’m not stupid. She’s not getting any better is she?” Jimmy said concern.

Jon looked at his son with tears in his eyes. “No Jim she’s not. And I have to explain to everyone that she’s not. How the hell am I going to tell my kids that their mother isn’t going to make the year. How am I going to live without the love of my life?” he told his oldest as he choked up.

“Easy like you do everything else Dad with love and compassion. We’re here for you but I think it would be better if you tell us first before we tell the grandkids. I think they’re a little too young to understand what is going on right now. We as parents should take them aside and tell them.” Jimmy suggested.

“No your right we’ll do it at dinner if that’s all right with all of you?” Jon suggested back.

“Sure if you want I’ll tell everyone if you don’t mind?” he told his dad.

“Thanks that would be great. I’m going to go sit next to your Mom if you need me for anything.” Jon told him as he started walking over to her.

Jimmy just stared at his parents as he saw his dad bend down and kiss his mom on top of her head and then pull up a chair next to her. Jon then picked up her hand and held it for a few minutes and then kissed it before he let it go. Jimmy just smiled as he saw them interact with each other and his heart just swelled.

After they all ate and everything was put away and cleaned up, everyone gathered in the living room while Jimmy’s wife Katie took the kids down to the playroom so the grownups could all talk. Jon started to pace the room as everyone looked on until Ellie spoke up.

“Jon Sweetheart either say something or sit down because your making me anxious.” She told him smiling.

“Yeah Dad why did you call us all in here. The last time I think you did this was when one of us broke the side window and you were trying to get us to admit who broke it.” Jake told him smirking.

“Funny and I believe it was you.” Jon said when everyone stated to laugh. “There is something that your Mom and I need to tell you all and well it’s not good.” He said looking over to Ellie while she sat there still smiling and trying to make a bad scene good.

They all looked at him and thought they knew what he was going to say but were quiet anyway.

“You all know Mom isn’t doing so good. But we did hear back from the doctors and well it’s not going to get any better we’re afraid.” He told them with a heavy heart.

“Mom’s not going to get any better?” Romeo said sadly.

“What about surgery?” Rachel asked.

“No I’m afraid we’re beyond that.” Jon told them.

“Wait why? They do surgery all the time. Heart replacements, bypasses, why can’t they?” Rachel demanded to know.

“Ok calm down, I chose not to ok? Your Father and I went over all the options with the doctor and all the risks and after much, much thought I’ve decided not to go through with any of that. So I’ve taken out a DNR and Daddy has promised in the meantime if anything happens he will honor it and I expect all of you will too.” She explained to them straight out.

Everyone started to talk among themselves as Jon and her looked at each other. Finally Jon whistle to shut them up. “Ok quiet down will you. Your Mother has made up her mind.” He barked at them.

“Well don’t we have a say in this?” Jesse asked upset.

“Afraid not Honey. Look you all saw what we went thru with my parents right? They both had DNR’s and it was easier with Daddy because he had Alzheimer’s and we had to put him in a Nursing Home which broke our hearts. But with Mommy well you know how I feel about what happened there. Your Aunt screwed me on telling me on how sick she really was and she hid her DNR because she was selfish. Which led up to Mom suffering longer than she should have. But she couldn’t tell anyone because she had Demetria, and your Aunt said it was for her own good well we all know it wasn’t and all she wanted was to be with Daddy. And we know what a liar she is.” Ellie was getting upset when Jon broke in.

“Honey you’re getting upset calm down please?” he asked her calmly.

“Ok sorry it’s just something I can’t forget and I don’t want you kids doing what they did ok? Promise?” she asked them pleading almost.

They all agreed as Ellie went on, “Fine now I just don’t want to go thru any of that stuff ok? So please don’t let me. I just want to live the rest of my days out peaceful and to be with my family. That is what will make me the most happiest.” She told them smiling.

They all listened and as they probably didn’t agree with what their parents had planned they understood because it was their lives and when it would come their time they hope their children would understand also.

The rest of the night went peaceful and Jon was happy about that because he didn’t want Ellie upset by any means. But he was just as glad that everything was out in the open.